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 [F] Mystery Net Community  / Writing Mysteries  / Mysteries By Members  / Short Mysteries  /

"Honey - Do's", by Cortney Matz (alias: Sunshine Girl)
 
_Sunshine_ - 03:13pm Apr 14, 1998 PST
...redefining Normal, one day at a time.

Hey, thanks for coming to read my story! It's my first attempt at a mystery, but I hope you'll all enjoy it. PLEASE feel free to critique, whether constructive or not - I want to know what you really, really think.

Enjoy!


Previous MessagesEarliest MessagesOutlineRecent Messages (59 previous messages)
Carol Freer - 11:04am Aug 17, 1998 PST(#60 of 72)

Sunshine, this was really good. It's difficult for me to create 'flow' in anything I write (just the usual term papers or short stories in English class), and I noticed--at least in the part of the story where I was watching for this--that your story did flow. I thought it added depth to include the part about Oscar's obsession with the tune, thus following Fred/Frank.

Mostly I know that I enjoyed it, and that counts, right?! Thanks!


ambika notsonew - 03:35am Oct 15, 1998 PST(#61 of 72)

Hi SG,

I read your story earlier but didn't want to read all the resultant posts. It was great. I still haven't read the resulting posts though. There is one thing though. I really thought that it would have been better if somehow some sympathy had been created for the baker Lwhatever. It would have made the sympathy go away from Fred to the baker. I really didn't care about his wife though. Fred, on the other hand, seemed like an innocent person. But much cannot be achieved with a word limit. Great effort. :=D


_Sunshine_ - 08:01am Oct 17, 1998 PST(#62 of 72)
...redefining Normal, one day at a time.

Thanks for the comments, everyone. I'm thinking about developing this, giving it more background info and lengthening the end it little. I'm even looking into sending it to a mystery magazine and perhaps (slim chance!) getting it published.

Sooo, I'd like to run the finished product by a few of you writers/readers/justplainmystery-lovers before I show it to anyone else. Any takers?


- 08:02am Oct 17, 1998 PST(#63 of 72) Delete Message

I would be thrilled to get that, Sunshine.


Aggie - 11:02am Oct 17, 1998 PST(#64 of 72)
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ee cummings

I'd love to read it. :)


Alex Dent - 05:04am Oct 18, 1998 PST(#65 of 72)

Yeah, count me in.

.alex


ambika notsonew - 02:21am Oct 22, 1998 PST(#66 of 72)

That should be great.


_Sunshine_ - 01:25pm Oct 22, 1998 PST(#67 of 72)
...redefining Normal, one day at a time.

Yeah - "should" is the operative word there...


Alex Dent - 05:11am Oct 24, 1998 PST(#68 of 72)

Faith is the key, Sunshine.


Spooky Lady - 07:47am Dec 1, 1998 PST(#69 of 72)
I have a cold.

I'd love to read the re-write, Sunshine!!


Darling Rich - 03:04pm May 10, 1999 PST(#70 of 72)

Good story, Sunshine. I knew who the partner was because of the title. Guess that is because I am a wife?


Eclipse - 12:12pm Aug 30, 1999 PST(#71 of 72)
The hasty stroke goes oft astray-J.R.R.Tolkien

Very good story. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Perhaps you should think of going to college though, perhaps while you work in ..Maine?....I forget where.. anyway take some classes while working.. that job won't be there forever.. something may happen, you may need something to fall back on..


Heather Luvs Cows - 03:21pm Aug 6, 2001 PST(#72 of 72)

Very good story. I like how the wife gave the list to the husband and made it mysterious by pretending it was a grocery list or something like that. I never would of guessed they were criminals. Really nice. You explained the stuff very clearly and I liked the ending. Although you could of waited longer to tell us what was on the list and who the third person was. keeps us in suspence and on the edge of our seat. I would love to read more of your stories if you got them.

Alex dent, I've read your Alex Dent Investigations story and I love it you just need to finish it. I made up the charecter Laura Talo, luitenent to the police force. Some guy was following her and she went into the Book Nook and when he walked in she grabbed him by the laples. Marty walked in and said that he was the guy that was following Jesse. Then thay tied him up.

-Heather

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 [F] Mystery Net Community  / Writing Mysteries  / Mysteries By Members  / Short Mysteries  / "Honey - Do's", by Cortney Matz (alias: Sunshine Girl)

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